As predicted on the last Monday, I was all sunshine and butterflies again the next day. The following days where then passed with loads of unreasonable mood swings of unreasonableness until it finally figured out what was bothering me in the first place on Thursday. Ah, the usefulness of older brothers. Just by simply visiting me, I was able to get my head much more clearer than it was before. How I will act from now is another matter though. We shall see. Or if not see, then somebody will definitely hear about it(and it is not my father, for the simple reason that he has gone off to Latvia).
Thursday was a sort of interesting day, because there was loads of sunshine and I got chocolate ice cream(haven't had it in ages). The fact that my throat was hurting the next morning was not so interesting. Nor nice.
The rest of the week's end passed in an amazingly calm manner. On Friday I went shopping with my mother(which turned out as a waste). It was both physically and mentally exhausting and I got to discuss the topic on my dislike for skirts(not that I actually dislike skirts. I just prefer not to wear them). The rest of Friday was very Fridayish and I got to spend time with people I haven't spent time for some time. And I got to be reminded of the awesomeness of the classy Chicago gangster look. Which I got to enjoy today again.
Saturday and a great deal of Sunday were passed at my grandparents' place. I actually got to studying math and had a first try at teaching bridge to my relatives. What made it easier was the fact that my mother knew how to play bridge. But my brother(the only potential candidate for Treffner seeing as he being the only minor next to me) was not fascinated by the game, but that might have been for the simplest reason that he always had to lay down the cards and just watch.
I also got proven wrong on my shaky card house theory. I managed to pull away a card from the foundation so to say and it did not collapse. I would be immensely disappointed if it turns out that my predicted mental breakdown happens in stages, not all at once. The joy of practicing English vocabulary.
The rest of Sunday was spent on frantically searching for someone, who knew more math than I did but in the end it doesn't matter for I did the math prelim and managed to do one of the silliest mistakes. It will probably result in a four. Nothing disappointing, yet nothing exhilarating either.
On the first topic again, I've realized that although I have been trying to do my best at not showing my frustration, it has still leaked somewhat in my comments. I am fully aware that I am lying to everyone's faces when saying that I have tried my best. But I have been repressing most of the comments that linger on the tip of my tongue and feel guilty about those I have made. Not to mention the fact that I have refused to keep the conversation going. It is not a big deal but I bet there wouldn't be an hour long silence if I bothered to type something in. But I am not doing it simply out of stubbornness. Shadow wants to hit me right now.
Also, I am very glad about the weather today. I love this sort of rain and although I had to go home with drenched feet and coldness in my every bone, it is still pretty weather that makes me want to enjoy life. Though I tend to avoid moving, because it steals the warmth that my blanket provides. And also it might have caused a small almost fever. But that's really not important until my thoughts start to get all hazy and nonsensical.
But I will now return to silent conversations and not so silent conversations.
I have the urge to bite people,
H.
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