Cat tongue, Tongue cat.

I felt like ranting again? Besides I have nothing to do currently and I am listening to Nyan cat(the smooth jazz cover, which is really smooth). Today was an almost successful day! I only had problems with one door today. Because I haven't told you people about my inability to open doors yet. The doors hate me! I have no idea why but they just do. Anyways, beside that door incident, my day went quite well. I failed the minimal amount of times, I'm not embarrassed at the fact I failed.I went home completely famished only to hear some unpleasant news. A friend of my brother had attempted suicide. It's quite horrible but of course as always, my reaction was quite apathetic. That's probably one trait which I hate about myself: My lack of emotions in situations where emotion is actually needed. While in my head, I may not be able to stop thinking about it, my words,actions, expressions don't change and sometimes I feel like I am not caring about situations like that, purely based on my reactions. And then, there are the tiniest things that manage to break whatever shell I have built up and I have to try my best not to cry. And then I feel weak. I do not want to cry so easily, but I do want to be able to show emotions. Sometimes I just want to discard my emotions into a trash bin. And leave them there. I was really determined to make a longer post but I guess that won't work. Although I have my idiotic brain to rant on again(and yes, I am a horrible person for switching on such a topic like this, but I really don't want to talk about anything too serious.). My brain is very nice. Any hint of sarcasm shall be multiplied by a hundred and twelve yellows. Remember the we have nothing in common idea? Well my brain decided that since it had been insulting me, it was now going to make up for it. So I got another lovely dream. Which pretty much actually was only pure assumptions. And it bothers me. Because it confuses my already confused me. Because I cannot use the term brain for it is currently my enemy. But that is all for this topic. I shall never go into details and hope that my brain will forget about it. The whole ordeal I am living through actually. And it probably will. Until another dream several years in the future. Now moving on from semi-light topic to uber-light topics. Today, I had pole vault practice. Shocking I know. Anyways there were quite a few of us there which is quite unusual. But this isn't the point. WARNING! I'll be now talking about something extremely delicious, so make sure you are not currently craving for sweets or something like that. Actually, make sure you're belly is full. So full that you'll feel you're about to burst. Pretty much one of those guys told me about a cake made of pure chocolate. PURE CHOCOLATE. It is now my dream cake. And he said he would get it and eat it with ice cream. The envy I am feeling right now is indescribable. So I decided with Windy that we'll be making a cake like that some day. Makes me a bit happier. Also, for some reason,I was very amused at the way he tried to pick a fight with me. He picks fights with everyone and for some reason, he decided to end his sentences with a slow Whaddup? It was funny the way he pronounced it. And the fact that he noticed Windy's drawing on my hand and started asking me if it was a tattoo and if I was in the phase where I would draw stuff on my hand to get boys to like me. I told him that my friends were in the phase of drawing stuff on my hand but he didn't listen. But it really cheered me up for some reason. It's like that one day where I saw one of my classmates in town and he smiled and waved at me(this happened somewhere in autumn) and I sort of realized how awesome he was. I do these sort of discoveries randomly, through actions that are actually natural when you get along, but for some reason they make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and then I sort of realize that I actually belong somewhere. Yeah, sentimental talk again. Moving on to the topic of nostalgia. Because in search of my two Japanese notebooks and the important sheets in those notebooks, I crammed through three bookshelves before taking a peek at my brother's shelf and finding them there. But in doing so, I found a bunch of old stuff, which made me remember good old times. This is why I usually never clean my room properly. Because I'll be stuck with all the stuff I find and happily ignore my chores of making my room look more...proper. But yeah, I found lots of stuff like my Physics notebook(which I could have used when we had the Physics olympiad at school.). There were also books of my childhood, like a book with German songs. I will make it my mission to learn those songs on the piano. Also, I found "Ingveripr22nik" (Sorry, but I am too lazy to change my laptop keyboard to Estonian), which is your typical love story and how it is okay to be different from others, especially if those others are narcissistic, spoiled and only care for themselves. But I like it, although the main characters are like what? Thirteen? So they shouldn't be having problems like that. But maybe that is only in the view of the lonely me who well thinks that when you're 13, it's way too early to have problems like that(based on experience as an observer from the side lines). Mainly cause stuff doesn't work out anyway. Also, those characters acted way too mature. But there was strong friendship and I liked the fox that popped up from time to time. And the main characters attempt to ask the boy she likes out by sticking letters cut from paper into a bush. But I really like that book.

Books are dangerous, play more video games.
H

Doing some HodgePodge

Currently I am waiting on my darling anime episode to load and since I have read a bunch of stuff already, I am now going to write until it will load until the point where I can properly watch it. Today was another competition, more important than the others ones. But it was fine, it went as meh as a competition could go meh. I did my sort of best and got my predicted 4th place with the not predicted height of 2.90. But at least i sort of made friends. During the competition of course which meant that the six hours before the competition were spent in solitude. Did I mention that in the A-class pole vaulting group there a total of 8 competitors? That's a lot. And I'm not using sarcasm here. Also, we had a great event called the academic night on Friday,meaning yesterday,meaning a day before the competition. So I had to leave it early and I am very disappointed cause according to what I've been hearing from Windy, it was very fun. And that's about everything I wanna say. Maybe also that I got an awesome picture idea thanks to half an hour thinking about the sentence: "We have nothing in common!" (Read: I was trying to convince myself on something, got off topic, realized I got off topic, yelled We have nothing in common in my head, get off topic, repeat the action again. until i got off topic while being on topic. Oh deary me.)

Yellow,
H

Bed hair!

Currently I am in a not so rosy mood,but procrastination is something I need right now. So I will procrastinate and nobody can stop me.And talk about bed hair. I like bed hair and I have no idea why. But there is this awesome latvian kid who has awesome bed hair. I see him about well as often as I have competitions and every time he has a different sort of bed hair. It cheers me up every time I see it. Not to mention he jumps prettily. >__> Me and my obsession with people jumping prettily. Oh well. There are other cases of bed hair I like as well...but currently I can't remember more than this one. My bed hair is...depending on the amount of water in my hair before falling asleep. So it varies from tragic to "Now when I could find a hair brush...". But yeah I like bed hair. for some reason, it feels as if the weekend has already arrived although it is Thursday. And guess who mentioned that she wanted to draw and was going to do so and now actually doesn't? Yes that's right. Me. But that's not that much of a loss considering what sorts of geniuses there are in the world. Oh well ^^. I am in a splendid mood today, despite the low start I had. And the History test. It was quite fascinating that despite the fact i tried my best to study yesterday, there was still so many questions that I couldn't answer. Oh well. The first two to three sentences were written on the 18th of January year 2012. I remember this clearly, so it must've taken place. Yeah, that's what they teach you in Philosophy. But it was a very fine lesson indeed.

Tea,
H

Growl

My stomach is growling and I know there is food waiting for me, yet I am gonna do you and myself a favour and write into this lovely blog.First of all I am currently attempting with more fingers than I am used to. Which slows down my speed quite a bit, mainly cause I have no idea where to set my fingers to make typing more efficient. Note to self: Google it later. Second of all, I have actually nothing to rant about but I guess that's fine cause I don't have to rant all the time. I just wanted to write here so I will and nobody can stop me. My third point is going to be on how I want to start acting like one of my dear main characters from a card game anime again, but am in a dilemma, because I dislike white formal dress-shirts paired up with jeans and I have no idea where my not so formal button up shirts are.Not that the character would wear button up shirts but that is what I want to wear when I act(pretend to act because when I suddenly would get cold and mean that would make absolutely no sense.) like him. My sentences probably don't make any sense, but that is mainly because I have just returned from a quite tiring practice and my brain stopped thinking. Now I am going to address a matter I forgot to address last time(and that is quite remarkable, considering I titled the chapter Espresso...). Yes, it actually involves the Cosplay Club again. Namely, we were looking at awesome characterizations of chocolate and stuff and then we decided that we wanted to cosplay hot drinks, design the stuff ourselves. And I ended up as Espresso, partly, because cocoa was taken and partly because that was the only thing to come to my mind at that moment. And now I have thought some stuff up but that is not important. Also, lately I have had the want to draw again, but I'm afraid the matter must wait until Thursday, where I actually have the time to deal with stuff. I did actually quite well in pole vault practice. But considering that I know who are going to compete in the same age group as I, I can say that I won't be getting a prize. But that really doesn't matter, as long as I finally manage to jump three metres. Because currently it is one of the matters that bothers me the most. Because my legs always end up feeling like my bones are full of cracks and when I move my legs, the splinters react and create pain. Although my coach guessed that it was probably just an inflamed something. Cause I have no idea what I am talking about.

MEOW!KHHHHHHHH!,
H

Espresso...

Dear Housing Department,
Look, I just moved in and absolutely love my house, but I keep getting all of these random letters and unexpected visitors looking for some fish. Any way I could get an address change?
Sincerely, current residents of P Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney.

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME???! You have probably the most awesome address in this world and you want to change it? Lol, though they hopefully weren't serious. Because if they were, I would hunt them down. Hehe. Anyways m'darlings, I am once again bored out of my mind and in for a good ranting. Though I have nothing to rant about. So I'll just list off ALL the happy things that have been going on in my life. School started this week and I am so happy. Because on Christmas vacation, there were certain periods in a day where I felt so bored out of my mind. But I managed to entertain myself. Soooo...I started playing Dungeons and Dragons, how it happened is still sort of a mystery to me. But I don't complain,because I like it. I'm the cleric of the party and I actually feel useful. Especially since I can use all sorts of experience I've gained from playing Heroes of Might and Magic. Oh well. So, I've noticed this sort of weird pattern again in my dreams. If I talk to a certain person, I actually see him in my dream. If I do not talk to him, I don't see him. And now I am puzzled. Mainly because lately, I've been offended several times in my dreams. In the last one I actually remember, I was insulted twice! Why I was insulted in the first place, I have no idea, but the second one was truly unfair. I knew I wasn't going to join them and I knew I had a face that totally said, "You know what you did and you know I'm not going to join.", but that doesn't mean they could just continue on with some random chick. It's funny cause I'm not making sense to anyone except me. But here's the problem: there are details that I don't wanna mention here or actually anywhere cause I bottle up ALL my emotions and there are details I don't remember. So there's not much to tell. And that's it. Another awesome thing happened today. I went to the Cosplay Club ^^. It's really fun, because I get to see awesome anime bishies, awkward silences and all sorts of other things. And I'm slowly blending in. Like I'm really happy since there are people there that actually make me think that they care about me despite the fact that we've seen each other like two times. I really appreciate it.
And I am currently sitting in my comfy chair, eating ice cream, enjoying life and wondering about where the hell is Windy and if I should talk to a certain person or not.
Cheerio,
H.

Fishies!

Yes, I spend time with the fishies on my blog ^^. I noticed that one of them was slower than the others and it kind of made me sad. Oh well. The world is never fair. I'm bored. Very bored. But my presentation on Julius Caesar is ready. Now I just gotta note stuff down which I am gonna talk about. And I am sick. It really bothers me, cause well, being sick feels awful.Oh look, iIjust watched Rakett 69. It's quite interesting. And now I lost any sort of motivation to write.

Tata,
H.

Sugar-coated cookies.

This title is completely irrelevant to what I'm gonna talk about. I just liked the sound of it. And I had some chocolate chip cookies today. Anyways I had some weird thoughts again today. Like always. But these are especially important, because I made a story idea out of one (thanks to the deserted asylum pictures on 9gag). Yaaaaaay! Pretty much it involves this girl with her imaginary friend. But when usually imaginary friends are like "NO! You mustn't tell anyone about me, and keep away from those people, they're gonna hurt you!" Then this one is like ""You should tell them...it would be better if I don't exist. Doesn't stop me from being jealous though." Oh well.This sounded way better in my head, but I guess if I bother to work out the idea a bit more, it will get better. Maybe it'll start something like this...the girl has no one to communicate to, so she starts conversing with herself. At first, its herself who answers, but at one point, this imaginary friend appears and answers her. Now I'll state that is pretty much what I started doing today and at one point when I'll tell you that I can hear somebody in my head(and I'm pretty sure it's gonna be L-tan) then that's the time when you ship me off into an asylum. And we all will live happily ever after. I had another important thought on the bus on the way home, but my genius brain never lets me keep more than one idea. It's sad, because one of these discoveries I make from time to time(and I make them like three times in a row, before I actually start remembering them). Moving on, continuing with my genius brain. Brain, I can never tell you how much I love you for those dreams you hurl at me every night(Half sarcasm, half truth). But lately, you have exceeded yourself. I thought seeing a scary murderer's hand covered with blood suddenly appearing on the window and zombies were the only nightmares you are capable of. But just putting me in the most uncomfortable situation, sending me bad news about sttuff I like and not letting me do stuff I wanna do, let me get ignored totally by people around me and just messing with my health is probably another sort of nightmare. It's amazing how much I could analyse about myself and feel bad afterwards as I woke up. The first thing that I thought after waking up was that I just had a nightmare, although now thinking back, it wasn't. It was just a very uncomfortable dream. That didn't let me sleep afterwards. So to the awesome sauce details. I found myself randomly in school(Inception: Because if you can't tell how you got there, it's a dream). I felt very sickly(more in an uncomfortable...I felt immensely uncomfortable) and was gonna go eat. I never made it there, instead I found myself in the atrium, and the break we had ended. I calculated with my genius math that because school ends at 15.25, the second break would be shorter than usual and I wouldn't make it to playing Bridge if I would go to eat on the second break. I still did go there, although half way there I decided that no, I wanna play Bridge. So I turned around and suddenly one of my friends in the Cosplay Club appears and tells me that one of the important members doesn't wanna do it so the Cosplay Club might close down, but she would do her best to not let to(FYI, we don't have especially important members there, just two people who talk more than the others). After messing around there for a bit, I go and make it to the atrium. YAAAY! I should think, but no. Just no. I take the cards, turn my back and observe them, and suddenly is my dear beloved Windy there and plays instead of me. Obviously I grabbed the wrong pack or something. Best thing ever, nobody talked to me. usually that's the part where I should have a very big fit, but that didn't happen. Some stuff happened and the next I know I read some weird article about some sort of school-shooting. Of course I can't remember the text clearly, but it wasn't that happy...the next message was slightly happier and then I woke up. Though I still felt uncomfortable during the whole dream. Whoever wants to hear more details, bother me. And I finally remembered my second thought! Thanks to rethinking the dream(I know, that doesn't make sense). Pretty much, the fact is, that things that make me very happy, make me very happy for only a couple of times. Meaning like when something good happens in a dream(I see a person I like for example), then at first, I used to be very happy. Like I would spend the whole day just drawing happiness from it(Even though it's not that noticeable). But now, for some reason, I don't feel so happy anymore. And it really bothers me, cause it makes me feel like an unappreciative bitch. Yay for temporarily low self-esteem. Probably I'm gonna be happy again tomorrow. Oh well.

Meow,
H.(And I wish that a certain Jonathan W. Thorne would GTFO of my blog. You managed to ruin my mood twice. And I don't need you to make me feel worse about what I do.)