Bed hair!

Currently I am in a not so rosy mood,but procrastination is something I need right now. So I will procrastinate and nobody can stop me.And talk about bed hair. I like bed hair and I have no idea why. But there is this awesome latvian kid who has awesome bed hair. I see him about well as often as I have competitions and every time he has a different sort of bed hair. It cheers me up every time I see it. Not to mention he jumps prettily. >__> Me and my obsession with people jumping prettily. Oh well. There are other cases of bed hair I like as well...but currently I can't remember more than this one. My bed hair is...depending on the amount of water in my hair before falling asleep. So it varies from tragic to "Now when I could find a hair brush...". But yeah I like bed hair. for some reason, it feels as if the weekend has already arrived although it is Thursday. And guess who mentioned that she wanted to draw and was going to do so and now actually doesn't? Yes that's right. Me. But that's not that much of a loss considering what sorts of geniuses there are in the world. Oh well ^^. I am in a splendid mood today, despite the low start I had. And the History test. It was quite fascinating that despite the fact i tried my best to study yesterday, there was still so many questions that I couldn't answer. Oh well. The first two to three sentences were written on the 18th of January year 2012. I remember this clearly, so it must've taken place. Yeah, that's what they teach you in Philosophy. But it was a very fine lesson indeed.

Tea,
H

Growl

My stomach is growling and I know there is food waiting for me, yet I am gonna do you and myself a favour and write into this lovely blog.First of all I am currently attempting with more fingers than I am used to. Which slows down my speed quite a bit, mainly cause I have no idea where to set my fingers to make typing more efficient. Note to self: Google it later. Second of all, I have actually nothing to rant about but I guess that's fine cause I don't have to rant all the time. I just wanted to write here so I will and nobody can stop me. My third point is going to be on how I want to start acting like one of my dear main characters from a card game anime again, but am in a dilemma, because I dislike white formal dress-shirts paired up with jeans and I have no idea where my not so formal button up shirts are.Not that the character would wear button up shirts but that is what I want to wear when I act(pretend to act because when I suddenly would get cold and mean that would make absolutely no sense.) like him. My sentences probably don't make any sense, but that is mainly because I have just returned from a quite tiring practice and my brain stopped thinking. Now I am going to address a matter I forgot to address last time(and that is quite remarkable, considering I titled the chapter Espresso...). Yes, it actually involves the Cosplay Club again. Namely, we were looking at awesome characterizations of chocolate and stuff and then we decided that we wanted to cosplay hot drinks, design the stuff ourselves. And I ended up as Espresso, partly, because cocoa was taken and partly because that was the only thing to come to my mind at that moment. And now I have thought some stuff up but that is not important. Also, lately I have had the want to draw again, but I'm afraid the matter must wait until Thursday, where I actually have the time to deal with stuff. I did actually quite well in pole vault practice. But considering that I know who are going to compete in the same age group as I, I can say that I won't be getting a prize. But that really doesn't matter, as long as I finally manage to jump three metres. Because currently it is one of the matters that bothers me the most. Because my legs always end up feeling like my bones are full of cracks and when I move my legs, the splinters react and create pain. Although my coach guessed that it was probably just an inflamed something. Cause I have no idea what I am talking about.

MEOW!KHHHHHHHH!,
H

Espresso...

Dear Housing Department,
Look, I just moved in and absolutely love my house, but I keep getting all of these random letters and unexpected visitors looking for some fish. Any way I could get an address change?
Sincerely, current residents of P Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney.

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME???! You have probably the most awesome address in this world and you want to change it? Lol, though they hopefully weren't serious. Because if they were, I would hunt them down. Hehe. Anyways m'darlings, I am once again bored out of my mind and in for a good ranting. Though I have nothing to rant about. So I'll just list off ALL the happy things that have been going on in my life. School started this week and I am so happy. Because on Christmas vacation, there were certain periods in a day where I felt so bored out of my mind. But I managed to entertain myself. Soooo...I started playing Dungeons and Dragons, how it happened is still sort of a mystery to me. But I don't complain,because I like it. I'm the cleric of the party and I actually feel useful. Especially since I can use all sorts of experience I've gained from playing Heroes of Might and Magic. Oh well. So, I've noticed this sort of weird pattern again in my dreams. If I talk to a certain person, I actually see him in my dream. If I do not talk to him, I don't see him. And now I am puzzled. Mainly because lately, I've been offended several times in my dreams. In the last one I actually remember, I was insulted twice! Why I was insulted in the first place, I have no idea, but the second one was truly unfair. I knew I wasn't going to join them and I knew I had a face that totally said, "You know what you did and you know I'm not going to join.", but that doesn't mean they could just continue on with some random chick. It's funny cause I'm not making sense to anyone except me. But here's the problem: there are details that I don't wanna mention here or actually anywhere cause I bottle up ALL my emotions and there are details I don't remember. So there's not much to tell. And that's it. Another awesome thing happened today. I went to the Cosplay Club ^^. It's really fun, because I get to see awesome anime bishies, awkward silences and all sorts of other things. And I'm slowly blending in. Like I'm really happy since there are people there that actually make me think that they care about me despite the fact that we've seen each other like two times. I really appreciate it.
And I am currently sitting in my comfy chair, eating ice cream, enjoying life and wondering about where the hell is Windy and if I should talk to a certain person or not.
Cheerio,
H.

Fishies!

Yes, I spend time with the fishies on my blog ^^. I noticed that one of them was slower than the others and it kind of made me sad. Oh well. The world is never fair. I'm bored. Very bored. But my presentation on Julius Caesar is ready. Now I just gotta note stuff down which I am gonna talk about. And I am sick. It really bothers me, cause well, being sick feels awful.Oh look, iIjust watched Rakett 69. It's quite interesting. And now I lost any sort of motivation to write.

Tata,
H.

Sugar-coated cookies.

This title is completely irrelevant to what I'm gonna talk about. I just liked the sound of it. And I had some chocolate chip cookies today. Anyways I had some weird thoughts again today. Like always. But these are especially important, because I made a story idea out of one (thanks to the deserted asylum pictures on 9gag). Yaaaaaay! Pretty much it involves this girl with her imaginary friend. But when usually imaginary friends are like "NO! You mustn't tell anyone about me, and keep away from those people, they're gonna hurt you!" Then this one is like ""You should tell them...it would be better if I don't exist. Doesn't stop me from being jealous though." Oh well.This sounded way better in my head, but I guess if I bother to work out the idea a bit more, it will get better. Maybe it'll start something like this...the girl has no one to communicate to, so she starts conversing with herself. At first, its herself who answers, but at one point, this imaginary friend appears and answers her. Now I'll state that is pretty much what I started doing today and at one point when I'll tell you that I can hear somebody in my head(and I'm pretty sure it's gonna be L-tan) then that's the time when you ship me off into an asylum. And we all will live happily ever after. I had another important thought on the bus on the way home, but my genius brain never lets me keep more than one idea. It's sad, because one of these discoveries I make from time to time(and I make them like three times in a row, before I actually start remembering them). Moving on, continuing with my genius brain. Brain, I can never tell you how much I love you for those dreams you hurl at me every night(Half sarcasm, half truth). But lately, you have exceeded yourself. I thought seeing a scary murderer's hand covered with blood suddenly appearing on the window and zombies were the only nightmares you are capable of. But just putting me in the most uncomfortable situation, sending me bad news about sttuff I like and not letting me do stuff I wanna do, let me get ignored totally by people around me and just messing with my health is probably another sort of nightmare. It's amazing how much I could analyse about myself and feel bad afterwards as I woke up. The first thing that I thought after waking up was that I just had a nightmare, although now thinking back, it wasn't. It was just a very uncomfortable dream. That didn't let me sleep afterwards. So to the awesome sauce details. I found myself randomly in school(Inception: Because if you can't tell how you got there, it's a dream). I felt very sickly(more in an uncomfortable...I felt immensely uncomfortable) and was gonna go eat. I never made it there, instead I found myself in the atrium, and the break we had ended. I calculated with my genius math that because school ends at 15.25, the second break would be shorter than usual and I wouldn't make it to playing Bridge if I would go to eat on the second break. I still did go there, although half way there I decided that no, I wanna play Bridge. So I turned around and suddenly one of my friends in the Cosplay Club appears and tells me that one of the important members doesn't wanna do it so the Cosplay Club might close down, but she would do her best to not let to(FYI, we don't have especially important members there, just two people who talk more than the others). After messing around there for a bit, I go and make it to the atrium. YAAAY! I should think, but no. Just no. I take the cards, turn my back and observe them, and suddenly is my dear beloved Windy there and plays instead of me. Obviously I grabbed the wrong pack or something. Best thing ever, nobody talked to me. usually that's the part where I should have a very big fit, but that didn't happen. Some stuff happened and the next I know I read some weird article about some sort of school-shooting. Of course I can't remember the text clearly, but it wasn't that happy...the next message was slightly happier and then I woke up. Though I still felt uncomfortable during the whole dream. Whoever wants to hear more details, bother me. And I finally remembered my second thought! Thanks to rethinking the dream(I know, that doesn't make sense). Pretty much, the fact is, that things that make me very happy, make me very happy for only a couple of times. Meaning like when something good happens in a dream(I see a person I like for example), then at first, I used to be very happy. Like I would spend the whole day just drawing happiness from it(Even though it's not that noticeable). But now, for some reason, I don't feel so happy anymore. And it really bothers me, cause it makes me feel like an unappreciative bitch. Yay for temporarily low self-esteem. Probably I'm gonna be happy again tomorrow. Oh well.

Meow,
H.(And I wish that a certain Jonathan W. Thorne would GTFO of my blog. You managed to ruin my mood twice. And I don't need you to make me feel worse about what I do.)

Loose screws, rape and angst.

The third part was completely irrelevant(Since I'm talking about weird logics I came up with) and angst sounds nice after rape, I just added it there. The first sentence doesn't make any sense. The second one doesn't help. But the fuck that i gave went <========> that way. Hehe, it's a paradox. So, let's be awesome and talk about my rape idea, shall we? It seems pretty serious, but I was just thinking again what would happen if I got raped(random place, random time, random person). Yes, I've been thinking about it several times. And I've reached the same conclusion again.I would go nuts. Like completely nuts. Only this time I found a metaphor for my state. Or something like that. My head is like some sort of something(what exactly it is I have now idea), that is staying together thanks to these tiny little screws in it. But there's this liquid trying to get outside(let's call it insanity), and it is a very formidable force. But currently it has no issues. But if I were to get raped, those tiny screws would become a little loose, the insanity would use this and spill out. And I would go freaking nuts. Probably silently in the corner for the first few days. Then I wouldn't eat. And then I would become so overemotional that nobody could see me.And I would be a mess. Oh well. On to more cheerful topics. I am disappointed in my parents. Quite cheerful. I know. Well actually I am not. It's just that they're also so awesome to think that when I come home after the party four hours later(Bridge....don't ask), that I was out drinking(joking of course, cause I was raised too well by them). Honestly, I had at least hoped that they would offer that I was out with a boy(but since I obviously have more friends of both sexes, there's no way...). I even had a story ready. Oh well. Another story to be untold, which is probably gonna die lonely in one of the corners in my mind(which is funny cause my round is probably round, considering how I always end up at the same topics). BTW, I have overruled the bishies, without having to crush on L-tan again. I bet I had another trazillion ideas to write down. I probably made someone jealous. Though there was no reason to. It was an accident I swear.

H.

Herp derp and another ahahahahahaha...I'm nuts.

Up until this morning I was in this kinda sad, depressed state, which now thankfully has disappeared. Having a ton of weird dreams in a row is not nice. Realizing that I'm not the only one who hasn't ordered a ring from school is very nice. I can now stop blaming everything on growing up in Germany. But I'm still gonna miss it when times are tough. Cause yesterday I was missing it so badly, that I now need to make up for it. So I'm prolly gonna talk in that pretty language starting tomorrow. And I'm gonna make sure I have no accent! Cause I don't have one and I don't want one. I mean I'm already confused, because I'm wondering if people in Hamburg talked differently from other people. That would mean I would have a Hamburg accent would it not? But I have no way of finding out, since I lived my whole life in one town. And plat deutsch has never been a strength of mine. Currently, I am rereading my notebooks which I used for creative writing in seventh and eighth class? Probably. But I'm laughing at my own stupidity. I've never known how to speak English and I probably never will know. Quite the positive outlook I know.What else can I rant about? My obsession with bishies, but that's irrelevant, considering that there has never been a chance for me to live my life without bishies. But now they gang up on me and give me a heart attack while they're at it. On a completely other note(that expression probably doesn't exist but who cares, I ain't British), I started reading Liar Game, which is quite awesome considering how smart the people are there(except the main character). But well, 120 chapters are through, only 64 more to go. And since I've started reading there was only one chapter added. Going along with the manga/anime wave, for some reason I kinda wish I would go back to crushing on L-tan...it would probably make things so much easier considering that he doesn't exist in real life, I was so madly in love with him for half a year(which is a record), and he sets up real life standards that nobody can meet up(And therefore erase any problem I have with bishies.). On another funny note there's lots of K-tan's out there. I hope future me will know what I mean when she's reading this. SCREW THE RULES I HAVE MONEY!

H.