Conflicting conversations

After a long three weeks, I am finally able to relax again.

I hadn't even realized I was so tense but today, the outlook on not having to do anything was so great(after I had done my last prelim and another annoying UPT test) that I really couldn't have been bothered to do anything productive.

I fulfilled my mission and I have to say that this is one of the best Fridays I have had lately.

I've been doing a lot of thinking again lately. And once again, I'm going in circles.

All progress I have been making is nullified. I'm not really sure how to feel about it.
It definitely has increased the amount of weird conversations I am having in my head.
Luckily, I am a pessimist. Especially when it comes to myself.

It's funny that sometimes, when writing into that tiny little diary I have, I am sad, because there is no accurate way to describe my day(or I was saving one or another page for some special day or something) and then there are days, where the descriptions are so amazingly accurate that it brings a smile on your face.

It is nice to be hugged back.

It is also nice to find out that I actually have emotions. I've been always scared that people might take me as an emotionless person, partly, because I felt like one and partly, because I really wasn't one to show my emotions(at least when it didn't came to bullying). I'm really grateful knowing that I'll easily burst into tears when reading about an abused Harry Potter and an equally abused Sirius helping each other heal.

I also now know that Mokona is an incredibly nice plushie to hug, especially when your mood changes from content to melancholic.

Note to self: Practice slapping.

I've grown distant, yet I have no problem pouring out my problems to people who have yet to betray my trust.I'm being an extra bitch for pouring out problems that actually are self-made whilst the people listening me out have problems.

I'm of no use to this world.

The whole week I have been debating on whether I am a good person or not. The concept of me being a bad person definitely wins.

I used up all my motivation to study biology. This might turn into a slight problem for I still have stuff to get done with.

I've had numerous ideas what to write down, but I think I won't be starting with that before the winter holidays. And if anything decent happens to be put down in Word, I'll make sure I'll post it here.

I think the good luck hair tie helped. At least I got all my stuff I wanted to do done and perhaps I have a chance of getting a decent amount of points in biology. Which would be an unexpected Christmas blessing.

Who the hell wishes you merry Christmas about 11 days early?

An aspiring writer should write as much as they read...oh well, there goes that plan.

If all goes wrong, I still have plan B.

Why not legalize assassins? I think the country would get a decent sum for the taxes they pay.

Then again, when have I ever come up with a good idea?