BlackWhite Coat.

She absolutely despised the coat he was wearing.

It was nothing special, just an unusually black coat and she loathed it. Nothing was able to stain the thing and it unnerved her. She wasn't sure why though. She just knew she had to do something about it.

Her chance came on a  cloudy Friday afternoon. She was worried, that he would show up with something else instead, but he appeared exactly at quarter to eight, wearing the coat rather neatly. She was so pleased she couldn't stop smiling until they had reached the school.

They were walking home together, through a nice park they both were fond of and which didn't stray too much from their way home. The stroll passed as usually, with the two of them discussing various things and generally chatting about life, the only thing that perhaps would have given away her plan was that she was eyeing the coat more often than usually.

"Well, that's the spot. See you," He said when they had reached the gates of the park, the spot they usually parted at. It seemed he was hesitant about leaving, as if he had something to say, but he turned away, probably deciding to leave it for tomorrow.

She tapped him lightly on the shoulder and he spun around. Before he could react, she jabbed the knife into his body.

"Goodbye," she whispered with the most sincere smile on her face. She saw something flash in his eyes, but she had no idea what it was. It was an emotion unknown to her.

She expected him to scream, but he didn't. Instead, he collapsed on the ground, making it easier for her to strike. So before he could start, she pulled her knife out with great force and slit the throat with all she had. She jammed the knife ruthlessly into his windpipe.

When she tried to retract it, it got stuck for a moment, but she simply crushed part of his neck with a well aimed kick. By now, his desperate attempts to get her away from him had faded into mere occasional twitches. So she focused on finding the parts of his body which would cause a huge blood bath.

Several hours later, she returned to her apartment, the black, now finally stained coat on her arms, her own white coat covered in dark red blotches, which once used to be fresh, crimson red blood. She washed both of them and hanged them to dry.

Later on, she fixed the rips she had created into the coat and then hanged it nicely on the coat rack, the coat now black with a reddish undertone.

She never hated black coats again.

Everyone liked the pink colour her own coat had taken on and were all very curious to find out how she had managed to get such an interesting shade with colour dyes.

Let's play up.

I am officially done with trusting people besides my family.
Yes, me, it's about time you shut your mouth and learn that in the end, the only one who understand you is yourself.
So stop getting your hopes up.

I have started way too early with listening to songs I haven't listened to in a while. I think my first Vocaloid fangirlings happened in November and October, so it is currently much too early to start listening to "Disappearance of Hatsune Miku". Although it was nice and left a message behind: Mada utaitai.
 Not that anyone would realize what that means.

In addition, my favourite Vocaloid is Megurine Luka.

It's amazing how many times I have wanted to write a post because I felt horrible at that moment. I never got to it though. I guess now's the time. And this time, I'm just tired of caring.

Although a classmate of mine successfully proved his point that I do care.

Lately I've been taking pictures of the clouds a lot. Every time I get this weird sensation that I might look really weird to bystanders and try to imagine what I look like to others. Then again, I've been trying to always imagine what I must look like to others and gotten severely hurt at times when I don't.

Oh well, tomorrow will be a Monday. Let's look forward to that, hm?

I shall be continuing on with this annoying happiness-sadness routine,
Henshin Oujisama.

Just a not so public outcry.

Hello?
We are lost.
How do you get unlost?
We are emotionally unstable.
We don't like this.
We want concern, we want attention, but we don't want it from the people we care about the most.
We don't want to worry them.
It's been long since we stopped entrusting things to them, for the sake of them not having to worry.
So stop this insanity?

The Fool.

With the sub-titles:

• Headaches are incredibly fun.
• I wish they'd all just die.
• How is it possible to ruin a day just like that?

So as most of the readers of this blog are aware, today was my first full-fledged school day. Perhaps what people are less aware of, but still a decent amount of people knows about it, is that it was horrible.
 It didn't even start out all that bad. I didn't have an head ache until english class I believe. Well, that means about two hours of peace, but hey, that's more than I have had for the last three days. Yeah, writing this post probably does nothing to help, but I figured that I could at least do this before going off to sleep. Although Tammsaare is waiting as well.
 So well, after getting a head ache, it was still all flowers and stuff because I actually managed to write something down during art class(read: 3 pages full of...stuff. Which I am supposed to know by tomorrow). And afterwards was Maths, which was fairly entertaining as well. I'm not going to go into details with that.
 But then things started to turn bad. Well, it was kinda nice to see some people earlier than expected but to then suddenly drop this bombshell on me...I should've known. Someone should've warned me. But no, that's not how the world works(unless, for some bizarre reason the world is still not against me and this was possibly I chance I should have considered but pfft, screw unreasonability, I shall get married to Kai and Lulu and possibly a lot of other anime characters while I am at it, because I need a harem. Yes, I need one.).
 So yeah, after that I was nicely shaken and have been doing the occasional crying every now and then. But I'm not sure whether it is because of my emotions and things or because my head hurts. Usually, it is a mix of those two.
 And now, after a twelve minute phone conversation and an incredibly weird Vocaloid song, I feel like I am out of things to say. I hope tomorrow won't be like this. There is no way it would be, but well, I got myself enough material for today to get extremely sad or angry again. I'd prefer sleeping, but I know that is not how things work. If I was a poet, I would create a poem for depressive things like this, but alas, I shall satisfy myself by listening to Vocaloid songs, from which 2/3 are sad and involve murder anyway.(Which reminds me of an amusing thought, but I'd better not state it, for the sake of my own safety and perhaps even sanity.)
 I appear to have lost my mind again, because I have named a blogpost after a Tarot card. Not only that, but I have a story involving Tarot cards as well. It is probably one of the most thought out, yet I have written out one chapter. I think the only story that can beat The Fool is Himitsu. And that was some seriously copycat stuff.
 Wouldn't it be nice to scream so loudly, that your head explodes and your guts splatter all around your now lifeless body?

Meow,
H.

Letters from the Dead.

Dear weirder,

How have you been? I probably shouldn't ask, for I am bound to get no reply, but it is part of the protocol to ask how the recipient of the letter is doing. So now I shall follow with mindless rambling.
 Today on the bus I discovered a few things. It does not matter why or how I got on that bus, but it is merely a fact that bus rides make me think a lot of different things. So now on to the discoveries. I realized that I can lean back slightly so that I can look at the sky. It is much more interesting than the never unchanging scenery I have gotten used to in these years(I believe there are a lot of them). Also, the colour changes in the sky are amazing. My head kept darting back and forth to comprehend the change. It was truly an amazing sight.
 A stop later I discovered, that my hands had the smell mixture of soil and sandwiches. I liked it a lot, for it reminded me of the day I had just been through. Although remembering it now makes me feel kind of sad. I am one confused individual.
Lately, I've begun to lapse back into my weird impossible fantasies. It makes me somewhat happy, because that will mean I won't have to be afraid of sad and teary nights again. What is slightly baffling though is that my source of comfort has become Kai, whom I have somehow moved on from. But I guess it might be because unlike Lulu, his story is not complete yet. There is no conclusion. There is nothing certain. The story hasn't taken shape yet.
 It's also nice to know that I've got a lot of things that can take my mind off things if necessary. But there are also a lot of things that are being applied to me with slight pressure, which are of course perfect for their timing, since school is starting. There are so many things I am supposed to do, so many things I want to do. This school year will be busy as well. I guess I'll never be able to break my way out of the art school habit. Workdays from eight to eight. Though I hope it won't get that busy. But you never know.
 But one thing I do know which I surely want to do is draw. I haven't done a lot of it, but these past few days I have actually sketched/drawn things. It is kind of nice not to take them seriously, not trying to perfect each detail and throw in some random and not really accurate shading. I should stick to chibis though.
 I feel that tomorrow will be a nice day, because I get to listen to songs accented with rain pouring as background sound. I thank you, wearder, for making this possible.

I am again obsessed with Earl Grey,
H.