Non-musician's nocturne

She walked, the red thread swirling all around her.

It was a nice summer evening, the sun was slowly but steadily creeping down the horizon, colouring the sky in various shades starting from a soft pink and ending with a deep blue. There was not a cloud in sight and when the girl looked up, the first few stars were starting to appear.

Of course, it didn't matter to her. Today didn't matter to her.

She knew that over night, the clouds would slowly fill the sky and form a massive wall. She knew the temperature would drop a good few degrees and that tomorrow, people would be bustling about the streets under their umbrellas, taking cover at every chance.

She also knew that she herself would be walking in the rain and waiting. Anticipating the same thing the thread had foretold her since she could remember.

She had always seen threads which connected people. She could always tell how people got along with each other, she could see how strong their bond was. She had no problem fixing problems of other people by simply convincing them how they felt for each other.

But to her own little finger, only one single red thread was tied. It was obvious, that the colour and the art of the string represented how much this bond was going to mean to her, but she sometimes figured whether God really was this cruel to let her live such a lonely life. She wasn't sure whether it was because of what the threads told her or because she actually was just not good at associating, but she always felt like there was a wall between her and the rest of the world.

She felt lonely because of it.

It was possible to get used to it and she was used to it, but she knew that giving up on the loneliness meant giving up on her humanity itself. Just her ability to see the threads cut her off from others of her kind, so what would giving up her emotions do her?

She didn't want to become a monster.

So she continued feeling lonely, letting the worst of her emotions get to her, continued being human. That's the only thing that kept her alive these days.

The sun was already gone by the time she reached home.

The next day was as the threads had predicted years ago in her dreams - dark, cloudy, overall gloomy. She felt attached to this weather because of the thread swirling around her finger, but also because she loved the scent of rain in the air. She never could get enough of how her loneliness seemed to manifest in scent only.

Just how she had seen so numerous times in her dream, a raven on the branch of a tree caught her attention with his loud cawwing, as he flied away, higher and higher up towards the clouds.

She watched the bird's flight for a good four minutes, before she could hear his footsteps.

"Is everything all right?" A deep voice asked, concern clearly audible in his voice. She turned her head and nodded.

As if suddenly realizing what was happening, her heart beat sped up and pure joy that couldn't be described with  words went right through her very being. But at the same time, she had felt sadness as if never before.

So she stood there, smiling brighter than anyone else, tears streaming down her face as if she was living through two scenarios at the same time, not sure of what to do.

But she needn't do anything, for he had already stopped closer and raised her chin in order to take a good look at the girl, who seemed to be smiling and crying at the same time. She wondered whether he had the same ability as she did, for his gaze went to her little finger for a second, before realization dawned on his face.

"It's so nice to finally meet you." He said after a long silence. She wiped the tears in her eyes, barely noticing that the threads were dissolving right before her eyes.

It meant that her lonely past was over and she could finally start anew.

And this time, she was not alone.

Perky Pioneers

I am desperately trying to keep my mouth shut and I am actually, for once, succeeding at it.

Though I am at my limit. Well, if all goes well, tomorrow will tell whether and what kind of something is going on.

Life has made me a skeptic.

I siriusly hope I won't be disappointed. Because for once, just this once, I am actually trying to do stuff right.

I am afraid to ask the question.

I made myself an algorithm on which to act on, but in the end,  it's already faulty, because I am afraid.

Usually, I would just storm in without thinking of the consequences, but look where it has brought me up until now.

At least I proved myself today that I can be patient.

I feel like I am going insane again. The good thing is, it makes me stop caring about trivial stuff, bad thing is, I am stuck in my mind labyrinth and it keeps me from sleeping.

Well, I guess I can only hope that stuff turns out. And I have at least another 24 hours to wait.

Yay.

I really should stop procrastinating. And stop the psychoanalysis.

She who must be obeyed

In the end, all she wanted to do was create a separate family, so that she would never feel alone.

Why couldn't people understand that?

What had gone so horribly wrong?

She spent many restless nights wondering, analysing, praying for a new beginning.

Of course, it never came.

Before long, she grew weak. Her proud demeanor diminished, her hidden tears kept becoming more obvious to everyone.

The first reaction would be taking pity, afterwards there was only cold indifference.

It didn't matter to people. Didn't matter to humans.

In the end, she simply was different.

After all, who would want to become family with a freak like her?

Breakneck speed.

Since I seem to have fucked up my life and intend on doing whatever the heck I think of, I shall do so and see later what the consequences consist of.

I feel that I have sealed a fate where I have to hurt people, or well if things change suddenly, someone will definitely get hurt. But I shall try and perhaps something good will happen.

I am most certainly a horrible person. But hell, I shall learn to hide it and manipulate with people without them realizing it.

But as someone infinitely more wise than I said, "You're 18! Live!"

So really, I shall try to behave the best I can.

And find my morals.

Example nr. A:

I most certainly will not submit to horrible temptation and make someone a sinner.

Example nr. B.

I shall become emotionally dependent of someone, who is at least slightly emotionally dependent on me.

Example nr.4:

I shall most certainly pick the people I like with utmost care and sensibility.

That's it for my New Year resolutions.

Also, I hate carschool and driving.

Weird wonderings

It's  a Wednesday evening and I feel like pouring my heart out.Unfortunately, I'm not into pouring my heart out at the moment, thus cryptic speech shall be used.

I had a queer dream today and it made me once again realize that people look nicer when they smile. It's kind of sad that those people have ruined my impression of them with simply being rude. The power of courtesy is amazing.

I feel that I should write some amazing piece of writing, because I reread my last story and I felt that it was a good one. I'm not sure what other people think but this is the first time I actually feel that I want to continue writing based on my previous story.

I wish it would rain. And that I would become more cat like in the near future.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could face the people we've had conflicted feelings about with a clear head and a sensation of joy?

Charmed Ceilings

"Come on, let me show you," Alice prodded the raven haired boy.

He sighed in resignation and closed the book he had been trying to read, before Alice had once again come up with an extremely 'smart' idea. That girl really had taken to heart Dumbledore's words, when he had told her to show him around.

Seeing he complied, Alice gave him a smile and started moving towards the exit of the Tower. He briefly debated himself whether he should raise the topic of leaving the Tower after curfew just for the sake of annoying her, but he let it drop for once.

He had lost the last three arguments anyways. It would seem like sore losing if he'd lose a fourth time as well. Not that he was doing it intentionally.

So he let the dark haired girl lead him. She was the one who knew the Prefect patrolling schedule by heart after all.

A few fake walls and secret corridors later they arrived in the Entrance hall. He was very puzzled as to what they were doing there and his confusion increased threefold when Alice laid down on the hard stone and started staring upwards towards the stairs. She patted the spot next to her.

"Come join me, it's not as uncomfortable as you think.Or nearly as dirty," she added as an afterthought after she saw his face scrunch up. A staring battle ensued and  the only noise made was caused by Alice's sheep slippers. He was starting to think those sheep slippers were nocturnal.

In the end he succumbed when she broke her stare and shrugged her shoulders in a way he recognized that if he didn't comply, he wouldn't find out what exactly it was she would be showing him. And he was curious.

Alice had been right: the ground wasn't nearly as dirty as he believed it to be and he made a mental note to thank the house-elves next time he visited the kitchen. He briefly saw from the corner of his eyes that Alice had turned her head back to stair at the seemingly endless amount of staircases in Hogwarts and from the way the everything quieted down, so did the sheep slippers.

"Just a minute more, I think," she whispered and for some reason, he started to anticipate something amazing.

The clock struck twelve. They were deep bells and their sound echoed in the many halls of Hogwarts, only to be muffled in dorm rooms and personal quarters. 

After the twelfth gong struck, all the staircases shifted simultaneously and revealed a large charmed ceiling.

It was probably the same basics as in the Great Hall, but it was amazing because at the moment, a full moon was shining down on them, stars adorning its sides. He felt himself breath in sharply at how beautiful the sky looked and how small it made him feel.

The sight disappeared after a minute.

"Not many wander in the halls at this hour, much less pay attention to what's going up there." Alice explained later as she got up into a sitting position. "I find this a shame because I believe that this is one of the less amazing secrets in Hogwarts."

Her smile turned into a frown. "They're not even trying to get to know this castle. I failed my N.E.W.T.S on purpose for this castle."

He watched her, confusion visible on his face, but she simply shook her head. "You don't understand. I wanted to show this to you, but perhaps, it was too early." She got up completely and started heading towards the staircases.

Both he and Alice were unaware that another raven with bright green eyes was watching them not from afar, covered up with a cloak that perhaps could top the Sorting Hat's age. The newcomer might have not understood what Alice meant, but Harry Potter most certainly did.

Hogwarts was home.

Perhaps Luna was right and he really needed to sit down and have a proper chat with this rather confusing Ravenclaw student.
  

  

Let me laugh at the absurdity.

I am craving for writing.

I am craving for reading.

I am craving for drawing.

I managed to force myself to do something I thought I was never capable of and now I am laughing hard at the world's absurdity.

Also, in the last few realities, you've still been a jerk.